Collective Nouns

December 13, 2010

We know what we are looking at when we see a  computer but what are the computers called when they are all connected and communicating with each other? If you responded “a network” your right!

Okay, now let’s try servers that are connected together and act as one; what do you call them? A ” cluster“!  What is the name of the individual servers in the cluster ? Each is called  a node.

What do you call a single server with multiple servers running inside?  Dissociative identity disorder?  No.  The host computer is running virtual servers.

Here are some others I find interesting and amusing.

Bacteria, more than one is called a culture.

Did you know that one?

Okay, try this one.

What is more than one barracuda swimming together called?

A School?


A battery of barracuda!

What do you call more than one bat flying together?

A flock of bats?


A cloud of bats!

Ready for the next one?

What do you call more than one bear traveling together?

A pack? NO

A sleuth of bear!

Here is the next.

What do you call many butterflies flying together?

a flock of butterflies? No

The are called a flight of butterflies or

a flutter of butterflies!

This next one is a real puzzler.

What do you call more than one cobra together?

A bad day?  No 🙂

more than one cobra is called

a quiver  of cobra.

This next one will kill you .

What do you call multiple crows together?

A flock?  Obnoxious, just kidding.

They are called a murder of crows!  If you live near crows you will probably understand this one.

This one is very interesting.

What do you call a group of eagles?

A convocation or an  aerie of eagles

Here is one that stumped me.

What do you call a group of emus?

A mob of emus.

If you have ever been around emus, then you know, that like a mob they are totally unpredictable!

This one stumped me also. The funny thing is where I live you see them flying together in perfect synchronization.

What do you call a group of falcons?

cast of falcons.

And seeing them everyday it makes sense.

Here is one that really fits!

What do you call a group of ferrets?

a Tornado ? No

They are called a business of ferrets!

What name would you give for a group of giraffes?

I thought maybe a stretch but no!

A group of giraffes is called a tower!

Opps! I forgot flamingos.

Don’t even say a flock of flamingos around their enthusiasts they are called

a stand of flamingos or a flamboyance.

Now be imaginative. What do you call a group of goldfish?

I guessed a flash, but I was wrong.

A group of goldfish is called a glint or a troubling.

This next one is really strange.

What do you call group of  Guillemots?

they are called a bazaar of Guillemots.

Now this next one makes sense to us who live in San Diego!

What do you call a group of seagulls?

If you guessed a noise of seagulls you are close.

They are called a screech of gulls.

Here is one I though was the species name; dummy me 🙂

What do you call a group of herons?

I know this one makes no sense but it’s true.

They are called a sedge of heron or a siege of heron.

Now this next one some how makes sense!

What do you call a group of Hippopotamuses?

Are you ready for this? A bloat of hippopotami!

This next one made me smile. 🙂

What is the name of a gathering of hummingbirds?

a charm of hummingbirds. 🙂

This next one is the one I need help on.

What do you call the group of intelligent and brilliant people who are customers of IBEX and readers of the IBEX Blog? 


by: R. Frank Tulak

Two Tiny!

March 23, 2010


We should all recognize this creature as the animal with the highest metabolism of any other creature on earth!

While sipping nectar from a flower the hummingbirds wings beat 50 times per second and are capable of beating up to 200 times a second to escape a predator.  They can fly in all directions: forward, backward, and sideways. They can also stop in mid-air; their wings beating and rotating like little helicopters.

Where does the fuel come from to keep this little guy going?

The nectar provides the fuel; every one of the 1000 flowers that this little guy visits in a day is a fuel stop.

What always amazes me is that no one ever wonders, where does the  protein come from to repair and grow his little body?

NO, sugar (nectar) is not a source of protein.

Ever notice that the flowers that this little guy sips the nectar from have no aphids? or caterpillars? or ants? or gnats? or mosquitoes?

Guess why.  He ate them!

20% of their daily diet is insects, but when it’s time for migration or nesting time comes along our little guy turns into quite the carnivore consuming almost half  his weight in insects. Nature helps by providing the ultimate “convenience store and fast food shop in one”  for the hummingbird; the local spider’s web!  It is there, caught in the web, insects too small for the spider to pay attention to, that our little guy can pick and choose until the owner of the web shows up.  To the hummingbird the spider is a big ball of food with eight legs!

Then also the solution to the humming-birds “home” problem is solved.

What is the problem?  How to get a nest to  stay stuck to a branch and hold together when it’s just a little bigger than a half dollar. The solution is the spider’s silk from the spider’s web!  It’s the spider’s web that provides the means to hold the little nest together and keep it held to the tree.

What happens if the Hummingbird gets caught in the web? Well, if the hummingbird didn’t eat the spider before being caught in the web the hummingbird will be eaten by the spider. If the spider has been eaten and the hummingbird gets caught in the web he will die from exhaustion or starvation.

Processor with a grain of rice !

We should all recognize at least two of the objects in this picture, right?


by R. Frank Tulak

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The Most Fearless and Ferocious !

December 27, 2009

The creature in the photo is known by the name of the Black Mamba and is the most feared snake in Africa. The name is referring to it’s ink black mouth. One bite delivers enough poison to kill 20 men; yet to the most fearless and ferocious animal on earth this deadly snake is only dinner!

The African Puff Adder whose venom  contains enough toxin to kill 5 men is no match either for the most fearless and ferocious animal on earth if the Mamba was dinner then the adder was lunch!

The cobra who’s venom will kill a full-grown elephant is no match as well against the most fearless and ferocious animal and in seconds will be a it’s meal.

Even the python with it’s bone crushing coils has it’s body shredded and consumed by the most fearless and ferocious creature.

Have you figured out what who this creature is?

Here is another victim

the young salt water crocodile!

When I say the most fearless and ferocious I am not kidding, our little guy is BAD !

What else does he go after?  Africa’s venomous tarantula !

For an evening snack he will devour scorpions when he finds them.

Nothing can withstand him!

Lions and leopards are the only possible threat to our fearless and ferocious little guy and if they take him it will cost them dearly and usually costs them their lives!

Other creatures on the menu are insect larvae, beetles, lizards, rodents and birds such as vultures and hawks!As well as springhare, polecat and particularly juvenile foxes, jackals, antelope and wild cats.

By the way our most fearless and ferocious little guy eats the honey and larva of the killer bees.  Do they sting him, yes!  But he still eats the hive anyway!

Who is he?   He is known only for eating the hives.  He is the African Honey BADger also known as the African Ratel. 


Wait, this Blog is about computers, where is the computer part?

In the computer world there are also very deadly programs that will kill your computer and data.  What bad programs?

Viruses, worms, trojan horses, most rootkits, spyware, dishonest adware and  crimeware.

So what is the most fearless and ferocious program that is able to destroy these malicious programs?

According to Anti-virus Comparatives the #1  protection against these deadly programs this year is

Norton Anti-Virus 2010

If you live in the Kalihari of Africa the two things that make you feel comfortable are:

Seeing a Honey BADger in your yard and Norton Anti-Virus on your computer 🙂




by R. Frank Tulak

The Killer Tomato, Potato and Botnet

December 15, 2009

Here are the last few seconds of this fly’s life before the lighting quick jaws of the venus flytrap leaf snaps shut and the plant begins to digest this fly, pulling the life giving nutrients from the fly to the plant. The venus fly trap (Dionaea muscipula) is labeled a carnivorous plant but not all carnivorous plants capture prey the same way. The standard definition would be “any of several unrelated plants modified to capture and digest animals, especially insects, which supply nitrogen that may otherwise be unavailable in their habitat.”

According to the standard definition; if a plant, because of it’s design, characteristics or attributes, captures and or kills an animal for the purpose of extracting nutrients to be used by the plant, it is carnivorous.

Carnivorous plants don’t digest all their victim only the nutrients it needs. Then when it opens only the structure and shell of the victim is left.

Other carnivorous plants  use nectar mixed with a sap and digestive chemicals to lure and capture the animal like the sundew (Drosera) .

While others are more passive like the  pitcher plant (Nepenthaceae and Sarraceniaceae) who lure insects into an opening that forces them to drown in a pool of water in the center of the plant. Thus extracting the nourishment over time as the animal dissolves in the water.

The problem is there are a whole group of plants that still fit the definition of carnivorous plant but because they do it differently they have never been recognized as been carnivorious.

Ladies and gentleman I introduce the covert carnivorous plants, our well-known tomato and potato plants! All this time we never recognized their carnivorous behavior. For those who grow tomatoes they have always recognised the dead insects on the plant or on the ground around the plant but have generally ignored it.  We never thought about it. I guess we all thought the insects just came to the plant to die. 🙂 The truth, recently accepted without controversy, is the tomato and potato plant lure the insects then the insects are trapped by the sticky hairs on the tomato or potato plant THEN (and here is where we missed it) as the sappy lure dries it finally releases the dead victim to dissolve on the soil to feed the roots of the plant just below the surface.

What does this have to do with Computers?

If you look at a computer program as a kind of life form then you see it needs the nutrients that are available from other computers to grow. So if there is a kind of program that can grow outside its own computer it must lure other computers, capture them then extract or assimilate those computers processor and memory to grow and capture other computers.

Is there such a carnivorous program? If so how big is it?

There are carnivorous programs and they are called  botnets!

How many botnets are there? There are hundreds but there are 16 which are the real monsters and have eaten the lions share of the world’s computers.

Are they dangerous to people? Well that depends on how much of your life is dependent on computers. For illustration purposes let’s use automobiles instead of computers. What if someone could take control away from the driver of a car and completely control it remotely? Could they do any damage? What if they could take control of 100 cars at any moment could they do any damage? Look at the size of  top 5 of these carnivorous programs!

  1. Conficker           35 ,000,000 +   computers controlled
  2. Kraken                     495,000       computers controlled
  3. Srizbi                        450,000      computers controlled
  4. Bobax                       185,000      computers controlled
  5. Rustock                    150,000      computers controlled


After it has infected a target computer (by downloading a Trojan), it tries to prevent it’s removal by disabling anti-virus software and blocking access to security-related web sites, as well as stealing personal information by masquerading as an anti-virus product called Spyware Protect 2009. How ?   The worm informs the user that his computer is infected and takes the user to a fake security Web site, asks them to pay $50 for a spyware program that actually is the Conficker worm, then keeps their credit card information, to boot.

How can you tell if your computer is infected with the conficker worm?

There is a test to see if your computer is infected click here 

Where is the infection mostly located?


What should everyone do? Keep their antivirus and antispyware up to date and scan regularly.

Hey I’d rather eat a potato or tomato than be eaten by one! 🙂


 by R. Frank Tulak

Most Lethal # 1

November 24, 2009

What are the 10 most lethal animals to humans and what are the 10 most lethal actions humans do to computers?

Either through ignorance or carelessness millions of humans die by these 10 animals and as well millions of computers are destroyed through ignorance or carelessness by these 10 actions by humans.


position of the cause of most humans death is:

Anopheles ;The mosquito (Sp. mosca- fly  ..ito – small; small fly )  of the genus anopheles there are approximately 460 recognised species: while over 100 can transmit human diseases. How do they transmit the disease? Generally the genus eats nectar, piercing the base of the flower and withdrawing the nectar with its hollow tongue (proboscis) but when the female is readying to produce eggs, nectar is insufficient to provide the iron and protein but mammalian and avian blood does! The antenna are the olfactory senses (smell) which  are tuned primarily to detect carbon dioxide (which is what mammalian and avian species exhale in large quantities) and secondly octenol, which is the scent given off when living tissue sweats. Why doesn’t our blood clot when they are feeding on us, or our white blood cells attack the mosquito? The saliva of the mosquito kills the clotting function and disables the white blood cells, keeping them from attacking.  The mosquito isn’t selfish, it shares some of the material from its previous meals, which may be animals or other humans that are infected with disease. The most common of these are malaria causing 2 million deaths annually; the filariasis worm  that causes disfigurement known  as elephantiasis characterized by a great swelling of several parts of the body; worldwide, around 40 million people are living with a filariasis disability; there are also the viral diseases , yellow fever ,dengue fever , epidemic polyarthritis, Rift Valley fever, Ross River Fever, St. Louis encephalitis, West Nile virus (WNV), Japanese encephalitis, La Crosse encephalitis and  Eastern equine encephalitis  and Western equine encephalitis. 

Mosquitos are estimated to transfer diseases to more than 70 million people per year.

Precautions:  When any of these diseases are present the host body goes into fever and sweating, attracting the mosquito, at this point the victim must be protected from furthur bites so that the infection does not spread. Most mosquito species are crepuscular (dawn or dusk) feeders. During the heat of the day most mosquitoes rest in a cool place and wait for the evenings, although they may still bite if disturbed. So don’t do your exersizes, running or weight lifting (anything that makes you sweat) at sunset!  If you do do them, do them indoors and not outside. Unless you want to share your blood with a mosquito. 🙂


position of the cause of most computer destruction is:


This  problem started with the portable notebook computer. They are constantly dropped or thrown from off a bed after the user falls asleep. Or the notebook is pluged into a power recepticle and someone kicks the electrical plug sending the note book flying! But it is not the fall that damages the computer it’s the sudden stop when it hits the floor! 🙂  The notebook computer is not designed to bounce and when it impacts something or something impacts it; it’s ususally “game over”.

But the slow impact is the worst!

Imagine sitting down in a chair with a notebook computer on your lap. Suddenly you have a nature call; what do you do? Well you close the screen of the computer, stand up and put the computer where you were seated and make the nature call.

Have you ever noticed that the new computers look just like chair cushions?

They even have designer colors just like cushions do.

What do you think these people sat on?

Could this happen to you?

Precautions: Never connect your notebook to a electric outlet across the path where other people walk. Never place you notebook computer where it might be mistaken as a cushion, because it will! Always carry it in its case by the handle, this makes it difficult to drop, but not impossible!

Remember: IF you or some else sits on your computer, relax catch your breath, don’t sweat it , or you could attract a mosquito that wants to share. 🙂

Go to

Most Lethal #10 or Most Lethal #2 

Most Lethal #2

November 17, 2009


What are the 10 most lethal animals to humans and what are the 10 most lethal actions humans do to computers?

Either through ignorance or carelessness millions of humans die by these 10 animals and as well millions of computers are destroyed through ignorance or carelessness by these 10 actions by humans.


position of the cause of most humans death is:

cobra1The COBRA !(Naja naja)

Are you ready for this?

Cobra’s are NOT Poisonous! No one has ever died eating a cobra unless they eat the venom gland! But whoa are they venomous! A single bite can deliver 150-350 mg of the worlds most powerful neurotoxin, enough to kill an elephant. The lethal amount for a human is 18-45 mg with death occurring within 10 minutes to 36 hours (depending on the amount of venom and where the victim was bitten) . The question is, how is it that people have survived a cobra bite? Because the cobra can control the amount of venom it releases! There are many cases of people being bitten  with no venom in the bite at all (dry-bite). Many testify that the cobra can sense the intent of the person and the cobra withholds from biting them or bites them with the appropriate venom accordingly. Cobras often feeds on eggs and chicks, rats, mice, toads, lizards, birds and other snakes. The are very reclusive in the presence of  humans and will try to escape but will fight if it feels threatened. The majority of fatalities were bites on bare hands or bare feet while gathering firewood after dark while the other fatalities got bit trying to kill the cobra. 

Precautions: Unless you are bigger than an elephant do not try killing a cobra! Barefooting it in any rural location in Asia or Africa is not a good idea, especially after dark. Sleeping on the ground or floor is never a good idea either, you may go to sleep alone but you may not wakeup that way. By the way, on  cold nights you can catch a cobra by taking off your shoe and he will crawl into it. So if this is a way to catch cobras what do you think you should do before you put your shoes on in the morning? 🙂


position of the cause of most computer destruction is:


No the problem is not with desktop computers but with notebook/laptop computers. They have limits on temperature for operation. You see you just can’t take your notebook/laptop out of the car in the snow of winter time and bring it inside the house and start using it!

Going from cold to warm creates condensation and condensation (water) and electronics don’t mix without consequences. Always wait 30 minutes before using it when you bring it from a freezing environment. Can you tell it is too cold to use? Well yeah, if condensation is forming anywhere on it is too cold to turn on.  Also if it is too cold the hinge on the notebook/laptop will not work well and may break if forced before warm up.  The notebook/laptop keyboard will be literally curled on the edges and the touch pad will not work!  THE COMPUTER MUST BE AT ROOM TEMPERATURE AND THE CONDENSATION EVAPORATED BEFORE USAGE!  Otherwise  there will definitely be damage to your hard drive and generally your motherboard and memory too!   For some reason we have never had this problem in San Diego, CA. 🙂

Precautions: The limit by the majority of manufacturers is Ambient temperature of 35 F/1.7 C  below this and you try to turn it on it’s bye bye computer!  When in doubt wait 30 minutes before turning it on.

Remember: condensation (water) and electronics don’t mix and cobras make strange bed fellows.  🙂

Go to

Most Lethal #1 or Most Lethal #3

Most Lethal #3

November 12, 2009


What are the 10 most lethal animals to humans and what are the 10 most lethal actions humans do to computers?

Either through ignorance or carelessness millions of humans die by these 10 animals and as well millions of computers are destroyed through ignorance or carelessness by these 10 actions by humans.


position of the cause of most humans death is:

boxjellyfishlargeThe  Box Jellyfish / Sea Wasp ( Chironex fleckeri )

This 4.5 pound (2 k.g.)gelatinous creature with 60 tentacles of which can each reach a length of 10 ft (3 m) constructed of 5000 stinging cells,  called nematocysts, whos’ fastest working toxin kills more people each year than any other marine animal; is the reason the Australian life guards wear nylon panty hose!  No I’m not being incongruent nor sarcastic!  Besides having 4 eyes and no brain to process the information which work exceedingly well as any other creatures with eyes who have  brains; these remarkable creatures’ stinging cells do not sting arbitrarily, but each nematocyst fires it’s toxin in the presence of chemicals that reside in living tissue. The nylon material in the panty hose disrupts the wearer’s body chemical signature. What does the sting feel like? Well the toxin chemically duplicates what a stun gun does electrically and produces the same pain! Now multiply that pain times 5000 if one tentacle wraps around your body! The result would be unconsciousness, which is not a good thing if your swimming, or cardiac arrest, which could ruin your whole day! What if a strand of the tentacle attaches to your body? Don’t try and rub or brush it off you will force more nematocyst to fire their toxin which will make matters worse! Don’t pour alcohol on it either! Drench the tentacle in VINEGAR! I know this does not make sense but it disables the sting cells (nematocysts) from detecting anything and therefore can not release their toxin.

Precautions: Don’t plan to go swimming in the ocean off the Australian beaches from October to April or if you do wear panty hose and have a good amount of vinegar with you! Oh, and take plenty of pictures 🙂


position of the cause of most computer destruction is:

laptop_bedHEAT !

This was never an issue until the advertisers started showing people in bed with their computers. NOTEBOOK COMPUTERS WERE DESIGNED TO WORK SITTING ON HARD FLAT SURFACES NOT ON BLANKETS!  The heat generated in a notebook computer can be twice that of a desktop and requires tremendous cooling. Air flow must not be blocked. Where does the air flow come from to keep the computer cool?   From the bottom!

Precautions: The computer should be operated on a table top.  Bed sheets and blankets block air flow causing over heating and damage to it’s hard drive.


If  your computer tries to entice you to go to bed with it or a muscular bronzed life guard in panty hose invites you for a swim; JUST SAY NO!  🙂

Go to

Most lethal #2 or Most lethal #4